new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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