You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize