WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
