**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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