ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Sorry about my life...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
