I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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