Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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