Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize