Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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