What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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