u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
