So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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