I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize