if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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