I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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