If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
