yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
