i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You ate ashes out of my bong
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
