obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
