Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
