Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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