Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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