u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I just found a bag of teeth...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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