im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
