He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
