He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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