You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
