You're completely useless in the revolution.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize