the new term for farting is butt boxing.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
