I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
