PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
