Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
