C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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