i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
pray to the hookup gods
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
