so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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