i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
