Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
