Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize