it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
