so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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