It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
