hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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