Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
