Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
