So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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