I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
