I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
