I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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