Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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