He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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