At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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