the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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