your room smells of hookers.
And success
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
