he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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