just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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