My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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