You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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