Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My breasts were aching with rage.
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