It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
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