So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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