just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
