theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
