Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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