I must be too annoying 4 u.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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